I remember after graduating college in 2011, I went to visit Kripalu for the first time with my mom. We went to see Mike Dooley who has a platform called "Thoughts become Things." I even have a hat that says TBT on it ;)
It was also my first introduction to yoga. But this post is less about yoga (although everything is yoga) and more about thoughts and manifesting. When I saw Mike Dooley and heard him speak, it was the first time I realized:
I could control my thoughts.
For some this may be obvious and maybe for a lot of you it's new information. I was 21-years-old and definitely had my fair share of negative, self-deprecating thoughts and humor. This was a serious trajectory change for the course of my life. Now, just because I had this lightbulb doesn't mean it was or is smooth sailing all the time.
Working with the mind is like working a new muscle. The mind has habits of thinking certain ways and it's on loop after loop after loop. I remember when I was healing from my depression, it was also like I was healing a broken arm. It was exhausting doing all of the self-work with therapy, group therapy, yoga, meditation, journaling, naming emotions, understanding emotions, what's happening in my mind, etc... whew! I'm exhausted just thinking about it!
Here's the thing... when we start to take care of ourselves, we might start to feel worse before we feel better. We need to understand and take care of our shadow self in order to grow and be in our light self. When we do the inner work, our outer work will come through. What I mean to say, is whatever vibration level we are at, we will attract.
I believe our thoughts are powerful, but they are not powerful enough. One thing I don't vibe with in regards to many manifestation teachings out there is the sense of disregarding negative emotions and thoughts and thinking positive all the time, or acting like you already have something you want. What I have found, is that working with limiting beliefs and bringing beliefs that may be in my subconscious forward, is that I'm able to have a deeper sense of gratitude and abundance with what I already have. And because I have that feeling more than just the thought my vibration is more in alignment with what I want to call in.
We can say and think that we are beautiful, successful and wealthy all we want until we are blue in the face, but if we don't FEEL it, nothing will come to fruition.
And so, a habit of mine that I am currently working on and flexing my mindset muscle is gratitude.
I had mixed emotions around gratitude. I've always been grateful for having food on my plate and a roof over my head and that I have my limbs and my mother is still alive. But these things also proved to be dangerous in regards to my depression. Because I knew I had all of these things, I didn't feel like I had a right to acknowledge any bad things that happened to me, like divorce, sudden death, not being able to afford groceries, end of a relationship, etc... This all ended up manifesting into my depression because these were my problems in my life. I had my basic needs met, so who was I to be upset about anything else?
I was also operating out of a place of I should be grateful for these things because there are so many people without. So this was more of a thought rather than a feeling.
My bad habit with gratitude is I would work on manifesting something: a new job, a new apartment, a new relationship... and instead of reveling in what just happened when something would come to fruition, I would move right on to the next thing. Higher ranks in the job, more money for rent, a deeper relationship.
In flexing my gratitude muscle, my FEELINGS have deepened and that's when the magic starts to happen. It's a sense of surrendering and acknowledging what the Universe has provided, what I have been working towards, what's already manifested for me.
And so my invitation for you is to reflect on 3 things that manifested for you this year. To pause, acknowledge and steep in gratitude.
For me, it was completing my Ayurvedic Certification, moving into a new apartment, and landing a job with a company in alignment with my values.
I would love to hear yours!
Thank you 2017, and Happy New Year!